Love, Pain and Joy
by Gondegoogoo
Summary: Harry Potter is back for his Seventh Year at Hogwarts! Can he manage love, friendship and family all at the same time, along with the upcoming war? Snarry with AU. does not follow DH.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! This is an idea that I thought of...I simply had to write it down before continuing Love from A near Death. I have exams coming up soon, but I promise to update LFaND soon. For now, Enjoy!**

"Yes Professor, I want to take Potions." An adolescent Harry Potter said.

Professor McGonagall frowned. She did not particularly recommend Potions unless they were good at it or needed it for their career choices.

"Mr Potter, do you know that getting in at NEWT level is particularly hard, especially since you did not take it in your sixth year? Besides Professor Snape goes through a very strict selection. Every year probably only has about one or two students who can get in."

Determination fueled Harry's drive to persuade his head of House to let him try.

"Professor, let me try. As of now, I am not sure which career path I want to take, but I do know that Potions is a very valuable course to learn, since people needed the help of Potions so desperately during the war."

"Very well then. I shall put your name and have Professor Snape put you through an interview."

An inward smile occurred.

"Thank you Professor."

"You are welcome, you may go now."

*****

Harry trooped down to the dungeons at a late hour. Turning to a hidden corridor, he found the door and muttered the password, before entering. Upon entering, he was greeted by the smell of lemon and Oakwood encompassing him as his lover hugged him.

"I missed you so much Harry."

He returned the hug, breathing in the scent of his lover deeply. He smelt good.

"Me too."

After the initial reluctance to pull away, Harry leaned in for a kiss, which his lover eagerly responded. Sitting on the couch where they passionately kissed, tongues twirling in ecstasy, they were like very young teenagers, instead of mature lovers.

Once they had to pull away to breathe, Harry straddled him on the lap.

"So, Mr Potter, it has come to my attention that you wish to join my NEWT Potions class?" The baritone of his lover's voice rang out.

Grinning, he replied, "Yup, after much thinking, I decided that I want to try to understand the subtle art of Potion making better, ever since you taught it to me last summer."

Severus pulled him in for a brief kiss. Slightly disappointed that it was barely a touch, Harry pouted.

"Now now Mr Potter, are you sure that is your reason for joining my class? Be warned that this class is extremely dangerous, and you MUST concentrate. I am afraid with me constantly within your sight; you will keep blowing up cauldrons."

"Nah, I bet that's you."

Severus raised his eyebrow. "By that you mean?"

"You are the one with the cock up my arse most of the times, my _dear_."

"Why you-" He smacked Harry's butt squarely and yelping in pain, Harry just scowled.

"Oh just shut up and do me a favour."

"As eloquent as ever, Mr Potter."

"…"

"Fine, what is it?"

"Kiss me."

Before Severus could protest, firm lips were pressed down against his and opening his mouth slightly, he carded his hands through Harry's hair.

That was their relationship. Teasing, wild, serious and many other atmospheres at different times. They had gotten together after a volatile potion had injured Harry and Severus had to brew the cure and take it to him every day for two months. They had called up a truce and became friends when unknowingly one day, Harry had suffered fits and Severus' lost his cool and started to cry by his bedside, thinking that he had died. Fortunately, Harry heard his confession of his love for him and accepted it. Of course, no one knew of their relationship. It was supposed to be kept as a secret until Harry graduated.

Just as Harry wanted to go further and undo the buttons, Severus gently held his hands and restricted the touch. "No Harry, let's just stop at kissing alright? Now we are back to a teacher and student relationship, so I want to wait till you graduate and then we will be as one again alright?"

Harry's eyes widened. Severus wanted this to stop, when he was the first to initiate this? But he made sense. Now that they were back to school, they had to keep their distance or people would talk. Thus, he meekly nodded and nuzzled into Severus' neck to breathe his scent for a longer while. Then, he played with Severus' hair. Contrary to people's opinion, it was not greasy but very soft. Occasionally it was only after he had come out of the lab from brewing a potion.

His features were special. If you looked at them apart, it may not have been perfect, but when put together, he was perfect. The man of Harry's dreams. Every scar that Harry saw showed his bravery, which made him the bravest man that Harry had ever known.

"I love you Severus, so the moment I graduate, I want to announce to the world that you are with me, alright?"

He saw a flash of hesitation which was quickly replaced with a determination in those obsidian eyes. "That is fine with me. I love you too. Now go back and do your homework, lest people get suspicious."

"Sure, see you soon?"

A thin smile appeared. "See you soon."

A quick parting kiss came and Harry left. Sighing, he longed for Harry but he knew he must practice abstinence before Harry graduated, or it would cause endless trouble for his younger lover. He shook his head and cleared his mind before returning to marking his students' essays.

********

Harry ran up to the dormitory and before anyone could ask him where he had been, he rushed to his bed and shut his drapes and erected wards and silencing charms before he flopped down. Sighing dramatically, he shuddered to think that he would not enjoy Severus' warmth beside him or comfort when he had a nightmare.

He took out the Marauders Map and activated it. He flipped to the dungeons and finding Severus' name there, he fingered the sign longingly. Finally battling over the emotional part of the mind, he turned and drifted off to sleep to dreams of Severus.

********

The next morning, Harry awoke and realized his wards and charms were still up and quickly cancelled them. His best friends immediately yanked open the curtains and concern was etched onto their faces.

"What happened yesterday Harry? After you came back, you just came here and locked yourself up, not letting anyone in!" Ron asked, with a worried tone.

Hermione sat on the bed beside him, taking in his slightly troubled looks. She put a comforting arm around him. Imagining that it was Severus' arm, he visibly relaxed and smiled gratefully.

"Thanks Hermione. I needed it."

"Anytime Harry!"

Ron smiled at his friend relaxing and feeling his own hunger, he asked hopefully, "Shall we go for breakfast now?"

"Trust Ron to ask for breakfast," Harry teased.

"Hey! It is not my fault that my stomach is grumbling, blame my hormones." Ron indignant outburst just made the other two laugh harder.

In the Great Hall, their timetables for the first day were given. Harry looked and realized he had quite a few free study periods. He made a mental note to remember them so that he could tell Severus about the free timings in case he accepts.

He looked at his porridge in distaste. He was not feeling that hungry, so he casually stirred it while looking at his timetable. Ron, who was sitting opposite him and currently stuffing two slices of bread into his mouth, watched him with a little worry. He quickly chewed and swallowed before asking his best friend, "Hey mate, do you feel fine?"

"Well, I'm just not feeling that hungry today."

"Is it because you are worrying about the interview with the Greasy Git? Don't worry, if you can't get in, you can just join boring old Divinations!"

Harry just smirked.

_Boy oh boy, Ron would blast if he saw the other side of Severus._

He casually turned to look at Severus. He seemed engrossed in finishing the huge sunny side up egg on his plate. He held out his hand for a moment and a brown bottle appeared. The Potions Master hastily opened it and poured a generous amount of what seemed to be chocolate onto the egg.

_Ah, something else that he likes. Lots of chocolate. I wonder if he would like to taste it on me…_

That thought caused the lower part of his body to stir in response but he saved himself by thinking of some stupid idea, like Crabbe wanking himself. By then, Severus had noticed him and gave the barest nod of the head. Harry just smiled at him with mirth in his eyes, before turning away to cast a Tempus Charm.

Looking at the time, he realized that the Potions interview was in 20 minutes. He left the great hall and walked to the dungeons. On his way there though, he met his former nemesis, Draco. After the war began, it became clear that Draco was on his side, when he decapitated a Death Eater with a vicious slicing hex.

"Hey Draco." Harry smiled.

"Hey yourself Potter."

_Draco is grumpy today. I wonder why?_

"Something wrong today?"

"Hell yeah, I have some stranger stalking me, sending me flowers but leaving no name behind."

"You hate it?"

Draco looked at him with fire in his eyes.

"Of course!" A person lurking within the shadows sagged her shoulders in response.

"I mean I hate it because the person who leaves the gifts never gives me an indication of who he or she is, and I think I am falling in love with that person. I want to meet my stalker."

"Not scared it is Filch?"

Both of them looked at each other for a moment before guffawing heartily.

"Are you kidding me? Can you actually imagine Filch to be this romantic? The only thing he might do for his date is to use a comb, and not on himself mind you, but on his beloved Mrs Norris."

That statement made them laugh again. Soon the laughter died down and Draco innocently asked, "So, what brings you down to the dungeons?"

"Oh, I have an interview going on… " Harry froze. "Shit."

"See you later Malfoy!" He ran with full speed down to Severus' office. When he knocked at the door, he could hear the booming voice, "Enter."

"Good morning sir, I am sorry that I was late, I just had…" He never finished the sentence because the professor's icy voice interrupted.

"Potter, before you mumble out your arse's deepest secrets to the whole world, close the door!"

Harry flushed. He turned to shut the door. He turned and tried to apologize, "Sorry Professor, I just…"

Again, he was interrupted by the professor, though not by words but rather by his firm lips. After he kissed his lover thoroughly, he pulled back and eyed him closely.

"Now, did something happen? You should have been here five minutes ago because I saw you leave the Great Hall just fifteen minutes before. I was starting to get worried."

"Sorry, I just met Malfoy and he was telling me about something that made me stop to talk about it with him." He muttered sheepishly.

"I see. But nonetheless, I have to deduct points. Ten points from Gryffindor!" He steered Harry to the chair facing his desk and took his own office chair. Relaxing into it, he began of what would be a short but interesting speech.

"Today in order to assess your brewing capabilities, I will need you to brew this potion for me."

Looking at the recipe his teacher had given him, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"What is this potion?"

"I will make its name known to you later," the Professor stated in a business-like tone.

With a flick of his wand, all the materials need appeared on the table and he simply said, "Begin."

Harry paused for awhile to peruse the recipe.

_Ok Harry, you can do this. First step, crush the tri-winged beetles. That's it, next step, fill the cauldron half full of Murtlap essence and a quarter's full of Pixie's elixir._

Harry meticulously stirred and counted the number of times he had stirred the potion. Severus sat at his desk, assessing Harry in his brewing methods. He was quite pleased that the time they spent together to brew potions during the summer had helped Harry.

After half an hour, Harry stepped back and lightly wiped off his sweat from his face. Severus took this as a cue to check the potion. "You missed one step Potter." When he said that, he had an odd gleam in his eyes.

Puzzled, Harry checked the recipe once more. "No, I added all the ingredients. Which step did I miss?" He looked up, to find Severus' face so close to his.

"This step requires the presence of two people."

"Oh? What do we do?"

"We have to kiss over the cauldron."

Harry never hesitated; he just leaned in and slipped his tongue into the other party's lips. They pulled apart later, to find that the potion had turned into a shimmering gold. Severus smiled.

"This potion is perfectly completed. Well Mr Potter, as I believe in independent teaching, we shall hold your lessons for one of your study periods. May I know when you are free?"

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment. "Um, Monday, first and second period, Wednesday fifth and sixth period and Thursday, last two periods."

"I am available on Wednesdays. Is that fine with you?"

"I have no problem. So what is this potion that we just made?"

Severus smirked. "It is a Bondero healing potion. As this potion is only applicable to the two of us, we should keep it as it is very useful. Once consumed, it can heal all sorts of injuries and even make you feel younger. However…" he paused to take a sip of coffee from the mug on his desk.

"What is it?"

"It is also a soul bonding potion, in other words, for marriage. Thus when two people make this potion, they are usually lovers so that when they consume it; their age gap will grow closer. Though it is advised to handle with caution as once taken, you will never be able to undo the bonding; people do take it as a pledge to love each other forever. Also, only one of us needs to consume the potion and the effects will start almost immediately."

Emerald eyes sparkled. He quickly corked two vials and placed one into his bag. "I would love to bond with you, would you bond with me?"

Arms encircled his waist. "If I did not want to, would I even suggest the brewing of this Potion?"

Just when they were about to kiss, the bell rang. Sighing, they broke away. "Guess I have to go now, see you later?"

"Yes, see you later."

Harry turned to go to the door, but before he opened it, he dashed to Severus' side and kissed him. The day was hardly done but Harry could not wait for the year to be done so that he could be once again be with Severus openly. He sighed but proceeded to the next class of the day, DADA.

Entering the class, he realized he was early and so he just sat down at a seat first, while waiting for the new teacher, Professor Yackhoe to arrive. As he took out his copy of _Seventh Year Defense Against The Dark Arts_, the door banged open and he realized that the Professor had come in.

"Good morning Professor."

"Good morning _Harry._"

Harry's eyes narrowed. Why did he call him by his first name? Was he part of the Order? He instinctively took a step back from the teacher, wand in hand.

"Who are you?"

"I am _Sirius_, Harry." And with that statement, he suddenly morphed into Sirius.

Harry panicked. It couldn't be Sirius! It couldn't be, he had passed through the veil, and was dead…He sputtered, "No! It cannot be! Go away!"

When Sirius tried to hug him, he pushed him aside and took his bag before fleeing. He kept running, trying to run away his troubles, and eventually stopped at the lake. He just stood there, panted and shouted, "HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME!!! I TRUSTED THEM!!!"

His tirade was not unseen, as Severus happened to walk to the owlery. Severus became worried and stayed to watch him for awhile. He saw Harry furiously pacing up and down before plopping down and just curling up into a ball. Then, Harry cried himself to sleep, and did not realize a pair of strong arms carrying him to the dungeons.

When he woke up, he realized he was in Severus' bed. He stretched before remembering the earlier events. It brought fresh tears to his eyes. He put the pillow his head again before quivering. Severus had entered, hearing Harry yawn. He helped him up and hugged him before dosing him with a Calming draught. Kissing his forehead, he hugged him a bit longer. Even though he had taken a draught, he still could not take it, and cried. Severus just soothed him by whispering some calming words and kissing his hair repeatedly while Harry buried his head in chest.

_What had Harry behaving so? He actually skipped DADA, his favourite class! Could it be something about Yackhoe that made him so?_

"Harry, what happened?"

"He's back…" before he started shaking again.

"Who?"

He looked up. Severus could see the pain in Harry's eyes, and his heart just broke.

"Sirius."

**A/N: So, how is it? Is it thrilling enough for you guys to want to read more? Click the review button below and tell me what you think? The next upcoming story would be a Severitus...I have the plot, I just have to put it down to the computer. Seeya!**


	2. Chapter 2

Severus could only stare at him, mouth open in shock.

"That mutt is alive?" Those four words made Harry feel a little angry.

Harry could only nod before another fresh wave of tears released itself and flowed. Severus shook himself out of shock and continued to rock his lover.

"Harry, where is he?"

"He is the new DADA professor, under an illusion charm! Severus, how could he lie? Dumbledore must have lied too, he must know, since he hired him…"

Severus gritted his teeth. That old coot would not learn when to stop hurting Harry! Giving him the illusion that his Godfather was dead had made him suffer such grief that had taken him months to get over, and now this? This was the final straw. But now he had to comfort Harry, before he entered a state of depression.

"Harry, listen to me. Don't think of Black now, understand? Just focus on me, think of happy memories! Here, eat some chocolate, it would help."

Harry tried to lighten up the mood, "Apparently you have learnt some tips from Remus, haven't you?"

Severus said nothing but hugged him.

"I love you Harry, and nothing is going to change that. When you need help, just come here for I will always be here."

Harry continued to cry again.

"Can I stay here tonight? I just can't go to face my friends. They would keep hounding me till they know why I cried."

Severus patted him on the back gently. "Of course love, stay as long as you want. Come, go to sleep and I will join you."

As they got ready for bed, Harry suddenly whispered into his ear while he hugged Severus' back. "I feel my life is such a lie Sev. If I had known that Sirius was still alive, I wouldn't have used my grief for him to power the Killing curse, therefore not killing Voldemort. Do you think Dumbledore had purposely kept this fact to make me feel guilty? It's such a lie. Only you aren't a lie, you are the best thing that ever happened to me."

Harry almost fell asleep when he heard, "Then don't let me go."

He just hugged him tighter than life itself.

When dawn came the next morning, Harry stirred awake and he remembered where he was before the previous day's events hit him like a bludger. He groaned slightly before snuggling close to kiss the neck of Severus.

"Now now Harry, remember what I said? You can come here but no funny business. None at all." A deep voice came from his lover.

He just nodded in response. Slowly getting up, he went to the bathroom convenient forgetting that he was stark naked, leaving a throbbing Severus in bed. He had a quick shower to mull over things before wearing a bathrobe, compliments of Severus who never like to wear anything to sleep in.

"Harry I swear your devious little mind is working every single moment to make me break my abstinence! You better hurry before I let loose!"

A chuckle could be heard.

"There, a laugh coming from my love. Are you feeling better now?"

Harry climbed into bed again and hugged him.

"Yeah, thanks. I still have to do a few things though. I thought about it. Severus, we can't meet until the Yule Ball."

Severus took this as a sign. He was going to break up with him! "Why? You can't stand me?"

"No! It's just that I have to find out certain things, which would probably take up the time till the Yule Ball. I have to find out whether my life was a lie. Was everything that I believed in a mistake? I can't have you near me, because if what I suspect is true, Dumbledore will eventually find out about you and me and he will try to harm you."

A sigh could be heard.

"I will miss you."

"Me too."

"Is there anything I can help?"

Harry looked thoughtful for a moment. "As a matter of fact, yes…"

********

As they stood at one of the secret passageways to Hogsmeade, Severus ground out, "Do you have to do it this way?"

Harry who was under the invisibility cloak gave him an unexpected kiss. "Yes, and I love you! See you at the Yule Ball!"

**A/N: Hi guys, sorry for not updating this story for a long time. Was busy planning how to write the story! Hope you enjoy this!**


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